How Not To Be Wrong: The Art of Changing Your Mind
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- Create Date：2021-07-15 08:51:12
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：James O'Brien
- ISBN：0753557711
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Summary
'Simply Brilliant' THE SECRET BARRISTER
'Passionate and brilliantly argued' DAVID OLUSOGA
'An admirably personal guide' MARINA HYDE
'Smart， analytical， self-aware and important' ALASTAIR CAMPBELL
THE INTIMATE， REVEALING NEW BOOK FROM THE AUTHOR OF THE BESTSELLING， PRIZE-WINNING HOW TO BE RIGHT
There's no point having a mind if you're not willing to change it
James O'Brien has built well over a million loyal listeners to his radio show by dissecting the opinions of callers live on air， every day。 But winning the argument doesn't necessarily mean you're right。
In this deeply personal book， James turns the mirror on himself to reveal what he has changed his mind about and why， and explores how examining and changing our own views is our new civic duty in a world of outrage， disagreement and echo chambers。 He writes candidly about the stiff upper lip attitudes and toxic masculinity that coloured his childhood， and the therapy and personal growth that have led him question his assumptions and explore new perspectives。 Laying open his personal views on everything from racial prejudice to emotional vulnerability， from fat-shaming to tattoos， he then delves into the real reasons -- often irrational or unconscious -- he holds them。
Unflinchingly honest， revealing and funny， How Not to Be Wrong is a tonic for a world more divided than ever and a personal manifesto for a better way of thinking and living。
Because after all， if we can't change our own minds we'll never really be able to change anyone else's。
Reviews
Tony
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This is another great read。 I love James honesty and clear thinking on subjects and here he’s right， what’s the point in having a mind if you never change it。
Mustafa Hussain
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If you're familiar with his LBC show - than this book will be no surprise。 There is nothing in this book that significantly new。 However James goes into more detail about the therapy he's recently had and shares the letters he wrote to his teachers at boarding school。5 stars because how much I love this guy and what a great force for good he is， within political journalism paradigm that is borderline corrupt， creating fear and division。In the last few pages there is this great line which needs If you're familiar with his LBC show - than this book will be no surprise。 There is nothing in this book that significantly new。 However James goes into more detail about the therapy he's recently had and shares the letters he wrote to his teachers at boarding school。5 stars because how much I love this guy and what a great force for good he is， within political journalism paradigm that is borderline corrupt， creating fear and division。In the last few pages there is this great line which needs exploring further "。。。。policing offence is dangerous and wrong。 I'm not so sure anymore"。 。。。more
Freddie Leather
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I do enjoy O’Brien’s writing style and I find it really easy to get into his work but something about this felt a bit icky？
The Bookie Monster
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Not as good or well structured as 'How not to be wrong' but nevertheless full of valuable insights。'The abiding truth here is that we all lash out at others because of pain we are nursing ourselves。''Next time you catch yourself criticising or mocking someone for some aspect of their existence over which they have little or no control， try asking yourself why you care about it。 I never cease to be stunned by how often， when I try this simple exercise， I turn out to have no answer at all。''Equali Not as good or well structured as 'How not to be wrong' but nevertheless full of valuable insights。'The abiding truth here is that we all lash out at others because of pain we are nursing ourselves。''Next time you catch yourself criticising or mocking someone for some aspect of their existence over which they have little or no control， try asking yourself why you care about it。 I never cease to be stunned by how often， when I try this simple exercise， I turn out to have no answer at all。''Equality can feel like oppression to people who have always been privileged。' I am saving these quotes to live a better life for me and people I meet on my path。 。。。more
Scerfman （Saoirse）
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Excellent！ Honest， engaging， thought provoking just fab。
KIM SELLWOOD
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I didn’t know who James O’Brien was but after seeing an interview on BBC I had to buy his book。 I do t usually read this type of boom but wanted to expand my knowledge。 I wasn’t disappointed at all， it felt like a breath of fresh air。 It shows it’s okay to be wrong and opinions and thoughts and feelings towards a subject can change。 I highly recommend people with any conflicting views give it a go。
Eithne
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I really enjoyed this。 James O'Brien is a British white man who is attempting to acknowledge his privilege and learn to change his mind。 He's upfront about the advantages he has had as well as the many times he spoke instead of listened。 It's a short， interesting and well-paced book that I think could spark a lot of discussions with other people。 O'Brien is an admitted flawed human and it's refreshing that the book ends not with a series of lessons but with a sense of further to go I really enjoyed this。 James O'Brien is a British white man who is attempting to acknowledge his privilege and learn to change his mind。 He's upfront about the advantages he has had as well as the many times he spoke instead of listened。 It's a short， interesting and well-paced book that I think could spark a lot of discussions with other people。 O'Brien is an admitted flawed human and it's refreshing that the book ends not with a series of lessons but with a sense of further to go 。。。more
Susanne
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An an extra half star。 I read and enjoyed James' previous book and it gave me a bit of heart and encouraged me to think it IS actually worth plugging away to find the truth。 This is an interesting and more introspective book， and contains some good advice for those of us who are always right about things。。。。。 An an extra half star。 I read and enjoyed James' previous book and it gave me a bit of heart and encouraged me to think it IS actually worth plugging away to find the truth。 This is an interesting and more introspective book， and contains some good advice for those of us who are always right about things。。。。。 。。。more
Bryony
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A very personal account of how it is possible to change your mind and how we should all be ready to do so。 Here is a helpful quotation:"It seems to me that the things that prevent us from feeling proper empathy towards people with very different life experiences - of understanding the negative experiences that contributed to making *them* who *they* are - are born of an ongoing failure and reluctance to address the negative experiences that contributed to making *us* who *we* are。" A very personal account of how it is possible to change your mind and how we should all be ready to do so。 Here is a helpful quotation:"It seems to me that the things that prevent us from feeling proper empathy towards people with very different life experiences - of understanding the negative experiences that contributed to making *them* who *they* are - are born of an ongoing failure and reluctance to address the negative experiences that contributed to making *us* who *we* are。" 。。。more
Koit
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I listen to Mr O’Brien often enough to know what he thinks about most topics。 Therefore， I wasn’t really surprised by the discussions and viewpoints here—some of these I’ve heard live on air after all—nor by the general message that we are often wrong， and it takes a big heart （mind？） to acknowledge this。 This difficulty in turn creates new problems because that acknowledgement is， often， so very difficult for us to make。The author had chosen his topics—marriage， racism， equality， weight issues— I listen to Mr O’Brien often enough to know what he thinks about most topics。 Therefore， I wasn’t really surprised by the discussions and viewpoints here—some of these I’ve heard live on air after all—nor by the general message that we are often wrong， and it takes a big heart （mind？） to acknowledge this。 This difficulty in turn creates new problems because that acknowledgement is， often， so very difficult for us to make。The author had chosen his topics—marriage， racism， equality， weight issues—quite carefully even though， originally， it looks as very much like a random list。 These concern the broad themes in society which cause so much ruckus， but are often used as a distraction from the really important topical events。 Yet， despite the claims that Mr O’Brien is now tries to err into any topic as carefully as possible or， rather， with due consideration to the other viewpoints， quite often his tone is overly bellicose。 This means that his debate opponents don’t get the time they need to make a coherent argument。However， what makes for good radio does not make for as good a book which meant that I was rather relieved to see that there were only a few calls transcribed。 What is left unacknowledged in those bellicose dialogues， after all， is the difficulty with which many would reach for the best words to explain themselves while the author himself is clearly trained in this （by his daily profession）。 This also means that the due consideration the author says he is trying to offer to his callers isn’t really there as often as it should be—perhaps another item for him to reconsider in the future。Yet， it was good to read what had changed Mr O’Brien’s mind about certain topics。 These triggers won’t be the same for everyone， but I remember how I would have argued for certain policies in the past that would have no appeal for me now。 However， knowing that I think something differently now makes it no easier to utter those words that everyone should say every now and then—and what the author’s thoughts consolidate around and help us become more familiar with—”I was wrong。” This review was originally posted on my blog。 。。。more
Samuel Ewetade
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Throughly enjoyed this， besides the main message of the book about being willing to assess your position/opinion on things， there were a large range of current social issues visited。
Martin Harrison-Putnam
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Brilliant in parts but almost 'Alan Partridge' in others。 This book had me thinking but listening to the audio book also gave me a stonking headache。 I enjoy James' radio show immensely and enjoyed his previous book。 This time around listening to James arguing with himself for five hours was too much。 I feel the need for silence。 Brilliant in parts but almost 'Alan Partridge' in others。 This book had me thinking but listening to the audio book also gave me a stonking headache。 I enjoy James' radio show immensely and enjoyed his previous book。 This time around listening to James arguing with himself for five hours was too much。 I feel the need for silence。 。。。more
James Cridland
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I went to the same school as James （not the same year， and not the same 'house'） and found his previous book full of welcome and amusing anecdotes about his time at school， as well as other things。 This book， too， has a lot about the school we shared - though I didn't grin at any of them。 He's angry， and right to be。 This is a very good， and honest， book from someone who has learnt to look at what he does with a new understanding of his trade。 It's quite powerful， and while not as easy a read as I went to the same school as James （not the same year， and not the same 'house'） and found his previous book full of welcome and amusing anecdotes about his time at school， as well as other things。 This book， too， has a lot about the school we shared - though I didn't grin at any of them。 He's angry， and right to be。 This is a very good， and honest， book from someone who has learnt to look at what he does with a new understanding of his trade。 It's quite powerful， and while not as easy a read as his previous one， certainly worthwhile。 。。。more
Jack Taylor
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A deeply personal account of how changing your mind is more important than winning the argument。 He touches on topics such as ‘stop and search’ and ‘tattoos’， and shares his previously held views that I too held strongly， and how he came to see the other side of the coin。 To quote the book， “Because if we can’t change our minds， we’re not going to be able to change anyone else’s”。
Jrwest
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As a Canadian， I was not familiar with James O Brien。 A member of my bookclub follows his YouTube channel。 O Brien is the host of a British call in show。 My impression is that callers call in to debate various current affairs issues with O'Brien who is a rapier debater who will strongly and passionately defend his opinion。 Over the years he however has changed his opinions on several topics sometimes from personal experiences and sometimes from his interactions with callers。 Some of the opinions As a Canadian， I was not familiar with James O Brien。 A member of my bookclub follows his YouTube channel。 O Brien is the host of a British call in show。 My impression is that callers call in to debate various current affairs issues with O'Brien who is a rapier debater who will strongly and passionately defend his opinion。 Over the years he however has changed his opinions on several topics sometimes from personal experiences and sometimes from his interactions with callers。 Some of the opinions that he has changed include corporal punishment in schools， white privilege， and obesity。 It was an interesting read and gave rise to much discussion at the book club to how our opinions had changed over time。 It was a good bookclub choice。 。。。more
Jen Scarrott
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Bloody brilliant as ever。
Steve Miller
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Enjoyed - as usual with JOB it is short but to-the-point， thought-provoking and hard to counter。
Richard
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Unusually for this type of book， especially from someone like O’Brien who has an excess of examples of other people holding onto ridiculous opinions， this book centres on the author’s misguided opinions and what prompted him to change them。 He uses real conversations to demonstrate his unsupportable opinions， how he behaved and what changed his mind。 One of the most memorable examples is when he was challenged on smacking children by a woman called Cathy， who asked if he would hit his wife if sh Unusually for this type of book， especially from someone like O’Brien who has an excess of examples of other people holding onto ridiculous opinions， this book centres on the author’s misguided opinions and what prompted him to change them。 He uses real conversations to demonstrate his unsupportable opinions， how he behaved and what changed his mind。 One of the most memorable examples is when he was challenged on smacking children by a woman called Cathy， who asked if he would hit his wife if she disobeyed him。 Cue a flurry of justifications and the employment of well-worn phrases like “it didn’t do me any harm”。 The question hit home though and gave O’Brien a “penny drop moment”。 The book is full of such moments。The book doesn’t shy away from areas where the author is still confused and admits as much – the chapter on transgender rights is an honest appraisal of that confusion。 Chapters cover racism， stop and search， tattoos， private schools and prejudice against the overweight。 They are all candid and rather disarming， you can’t feel attacked when the object of the criticism is the author himself， but you do feel challenged by the argument。This is a book of our times， a time when people cheer on their team rather than thinking through issues。 This book enables us to challenge our own opinions and listen to the opinions of others。 The stories are serious but told with flair and， despite some toe-curling episodes， are quite fun and relatable。 The lessons are， though， very important if we are ever to get out of the social media induced trope-throwing， epithet-chanting and thought avoiding。 An absolute must read。 。。。more
Steven Pilling
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Preferred his first book but that said its very good 。Obrien talks you through the way he has dealt with therapy and how he has realised that positions he has taken may be wrong 。He is still passionate even if the subject is about removing passion and considering all sides 。 Useful。as a mirror into why you are not always right and that often you take a view without considering the full ramifications of your position
Mike
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A much more personal book than his previous How to be Right， this covers his journey from I'm-always-right to let-me-think-about-that。 A much more personal book than his previous How to be Right， this covers his journey from I'm-always-right to let-me-think-about-that。 。。。more
Adam
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A well argued and frank discussion on the importance of having an open mind and being objective enough to see when you are wrong and change your mind。If you are familiar with James O'Brien's radio show on LBC， you should know what to expect here。 O'Brien frankly discusses the importance of being able to acknowledge when you are in the wrong - but also be able to embrace the new 'truth' you have found。 Partly autobiographical， the majority of the book is made up of transcripts of his radio show a A well argued and frank discussion on the importance of having an open mind and being objective enough to see when you are wrong and change your mind。If you are familiar with James O'Brien's radio show on LBC， you should know what to expect here。 O'Brien frankly discusses the importance of being able to acknowledge when you are in the wrong - but also be able to embrace the new 'truth' you have found。 Partly autobiographical， the majority of the book is made up of transcripts of his radio show and where he himself， with the benefit of hindsight， acknowledges when he was wrong and comes to terms with some of his own， factually bankrupt， prejudices。 While perhaps not as illuminating as he might hope O'Brien hits some important ideals home and gives a fully rounded discussion on the subjects he addresses， if occasionally labouring the point。 。。。more
Mike Grundy
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A Sunday afternoon badly spent。 Back to Dickens I think。
Cynthia Maggard
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An excellent read， by someone very much with their finger on the pulse of （UK） society。 If James’ thoughts and opinions offend you， check yourself for a conscience。
Peter Carr
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Pleasantly surprised by how strong this book is。 I definitely feel that the inability to change ones mind is a major flaw in modern society ending in our current extreme polarisation。 This book perfectly demonstrates how creating important conversations and being open to 'changing our mind' could be vital to society healing its wounds and moving forward。 Pleasantly surprised by how strong this book is。 I definitely feel that the inability to change ones mind is a major flaw in modern society ending in our current extreme polarisation。 This book perfectly demonstrates how creating important conversations and being open to 'changing our mind' could be vital to society healing its wounds and moving forward。 。。。more
Fiona
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Absolutely brilliant。 I read this in two sittings。 “James O’Brien， thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this book， you’ll never know how much it has helped me”。
Jonny Brick
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The difficult second book handled astutely， with excellent chapters on handling trans issues and the lived experience of black people， in an attempt to understand himself。 It's a memoir disguised as a self-help book。 Smart， as ever。 The difficult second book handled astutely， with excellent chapters on handling trans issues and the lived experience of black people， in an attempt to understand himself。 It's a memoir disguised as a self-help book。 Smart， as ever。 。。。more
Greta （Upcloseandbookish）
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An interesting and thought-provoking book。 For me， the ability to change your mind is a sign of wisdom that comes with maturity。 How Not To Be Wrong is a humorous book with really engaging writing。 Three questions that I took from the book and I will use in my everyday life are: "What are you afraid of？"， "What are you really angry about？" and "How would you feel if the roles were reversed？" An interesting and thought-provoking book。 For me， the ability to change your mind is a sign of wisdom that comes with maturity。 How Not To Be Wrong is a humorous book with really engaging writing。 Three questions that I took from the book and I will use in my everyday life are: "What are you afraid of？"， "What are you really angry about？" and "How would you feel if the roles were reversed？" 。。。more
Michael White
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A must read！Such honesty and self analysis is rarely so well examined or approached with a wry sense of humour。 Educationally illuminating too！
Alex Taylor
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Disappointing。
Matthew Gildea
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